Once upon a time, there was a girl – a girl too dependent on her afternoon naps, too rebellious for a bed time, and a girl who had recently fell victim to the itch of adventure. Among other things, she was also a dedicated plasma donator and lacking any sense of responsibility, (no she is not blogging comfortably from the bitter-sweet lounge of her dusty-blue plasma throne.) When her unconventional sleep pattern acknowledged the inconvenience of real life, a peculiar, though comical and slightly humiliating, occurrence began to emerge; Girl, she who shall not be named, fell asleep everywhere, anywhere, and as often as inopportune.
Savasana: 7 o’clock yoga class has never been so riled. Not only has “the new girl” hacked her way through relaxation – due to a baaad and slightly eternal case of the whooping cough -- , disrupting the very hint of inner peace, BUT she falls asleep during the closing Savasana, everyday. Not once, not twice, but EVERY class I’ve attended. I wake up to an empty room and the sweet taste of dry mouth, thank you **rabbit-face.
Les Schwab: Because a tire shop is the most desirable place to take a power nap? Eventually face down, at the attempt of browsing a magazine irrelevant to my interest OR pursuits, I was awoken by my sister Sierra, via phone call. “Hello?” “What are you do..” “I just fell asleep at the tire shop.” I drooled a little, don’t judge me -- that magazine’s one purpose what to absorb the effects of a long anticipated siesta.
I’d like to say this is something new, that I haven’t always had narcoleptic tendencies…but I have. Let us revisit the past? Pay tribute to some of my finest moments?
Missionary discussions (2007): Feeling ambitious and experimental, I approached my Bishop about the idea of accompanying the missionaries to attend a few discussions – to experience the “authenticity” of mission life, in effort to test my involvement in the mission field. One second I was wide awake, bright and bushy tailed, if you will, in observation of the interactions between the sister missionaries and the eight year old boy we were scheduled to teach. Next thing I know, MUCH to my dismay, Sister Can’t-Remember-Her-Last-Name is creatively inviting me to share my testimony of the Book of Mormon, to both wake me up and provide my desired experience. Thus, I postponed the consideration of a mission for the next four years.
Arlington (Summer 2010): Potentially the most dangerous of all sleeps, but earning US (me and Laura Wilson) eternal bragging rights. Did we attempt a 5 hour drive to Washington DC at midnight? Yes. Did we eat waffles and French fries at an anonymous Denny’s at 2 am? Yes. Did we tour the city like champions, lacking any sleep or sense of direction? Yeah we did! Did we BOTH momentarily fall asleep on the historical grasses of a national cemetery? YEAH WE DID! Did we survive to tell the tale, and can I still recognize her as the gypsy I traveled the eastern side of the country with?? Yes we did, and yes I can. Love you sister friend – monster buck.
Take this for what it is though; confessions of a lethargic soul. It is suggested that one cannot fall asleep where one feels threatened, endangered, or uncomfortable. I just so happen to have the ability to abandon consideration of all three and slumber at the drop of a pin. World, I trust you.
** A deep sleep of Jessica Wilkinson will always include the notorious "rabbit face." My bottom lip falls open just enough to drastically showcase my two front teeth. Beware of that face, sleep talking will shortly follow.